


The Other Side

by krissybl



Series: The Other Side [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt Dean, M/M, Male Slash, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-22
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2018-01-13 09:52:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1221841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krissybl/pseuds/krissybl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The end begins with a whimper. When it's over Castiel is left alone clutching the still form of Dean Winchester. (Not nearly as much angst as the summary would indicate)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The beat of your heart on my skin

**Author's Note:**

> This story became stuck in my head after listening to "The Other SIde" by Parachute. (On repeat) Unbeta'd. Chapter titles pulled from the song.

The beat of your heart on my skin

The end begins with a whimper. A small sound that was unexpected and out of place on a sunny Tuesday morning. Castiel was the first to notice it since his hearing is better than the Winchester’s. Charlie had reappeared in the bunker in the early hours of dawn regaling them with amazing tales from the Land of Oz. They were walking her into the garage, so she could borrow a car, when Castiel heard it. Charlie was lagging a bit behind fishing through her bag for a trinket she had picked up in the Emerald City. The angel turned at the sound to see Charlie slumping to the ground, her eyes smoking craters below her halo of red hair. her lips barely parted around her last sound. Gadreel stood just behind her lowering his hand from where her head had been moments before. A piece of paper fluttered down to land on her now still chest. Castiel read the words Charlie Bradbury as it settled, stark white against the black of her t-shirt.

The expected bang followed immediately after. A hole was blown into the side of the garage as Sam and Dean finally turned around. They had a moment to take in the limp form that was their friend before all three of them were blown back into the wall as Crowley and Metatron sauntered onto the scene. Castiel heard Dean snarl just off to his right. Sam seemed beyond words, silently seething to the angel’s left.

“Sorry to pop in so unexpectedly,” said Crowley “but this fine chap and I fancied a visit to our favorite pains in the arse.” He gestured to a very grim looking Metatron.

“How could you?” Castiel bit out at the older angel.

“Oh don’t act all high and mighty, Castiel. We all know the deals you’ve made in the past involving this same demon. Crowley and I have a common nuisance, and the enemy of my enemy… blah blah blah.” He waved his hand around dismissively.

Before any of them could respond Gadreel was at Dean’s throat with an Angel Blade. Sam, who was the first of Team Free Will to recover, rushed at Crowley, the demon killing dagger already raised in attack. Castiel was torn between helping Dean and making sure the fight was even by taking on Metatron. He glanced at Dean quickly and found him pushing Gadreel back with the stolen Angel Blade. Dean had always been surprisingly adept at hand to hand combat, even against supernatural beings. The Mark of Cain on his arm and Gadreel being weakened by the fall certainly helped. Though it felt wrong deep in his core to do so, Castiel turned away from Dean and headed for the older angel. His own blade materialized in his raised hand as he charged toward Metatron.

From that first initial rush everything was chaos. Castiel tried to keep an eye on his charges while holding Metatron at bay. He blasted a wave of heavenly energy at Crowley just as he was about to wrap his hand around Sam’s throat. His attention was immediately brought back to Metatron when he felt a nick at his wrist. Castiel needed to focus on his own fight or he wouldn’t be able to help the brothers for much longer.

Battling Metatron took his whole attention from that point. He tried to look for Dean to see how he was faring and saw that he had managed a few shallow cuts to Gadreel’s arms and face. But Gadreel was rallying as Dean was growing more and more fatigued. A quick scan of the room found Sam crouched behind an old military vehicle as Crowley casually strolled around the other side. Castiel knew this couldn’t go on much longer, they were all waning against their more powerful adversaries. He rushed Metatron and pinned him to the wall, blade poised at his throat.There was an agonized cry of pain from somewhere on the other side of the room.

“SAM!” The wail that sounded caused Metatron to glance over giving Castiel the opening he needed to plunge the angel blade in. He watched the Grace pour out of the scribe’s eyes, mouth and throat. When Castiel turned to finally offer his assistance, the scene that unfolded froze him in place.

Sam had somehow managed to get behind Crowley by going under the tall vehicle. Castiel could see the sparks in Crowley’s eyes and skin indicating that Sam had managed to drive his blade between the demon’s ribs and straight into his heart. The demon and hunter fell to the floor and Castiel finally glimpsed the giant claw marks that had torn the younger Winchester’s back to shreds. Crowley always had been fond of his Hellhound pets.

Dean rushed for Sam without a moment’s hesitation. Castiel was too far away and could only stare in horror when Gadreel brought his recovered blade down, piercing the top of Dean’s shoulder and embedding it to the hilt. As Dean’s knees buckled Castiel let out an anguished cry and tossed his blade, propelled on a wave of every last ounce of his heavenly energy, into Gadreel’s back. The other angel dropped instantly to the ground, his Grace leaking out past the blade.

As if a switch had been flipped, everything went silent and still. Castiel, having put everything he had into that last attack, stumbled and fell. He dragged himself past Gadreel towards Dean. On his way he spared the barest glance to see that Sam and Crowley were completely still in death. Not so much as a flutter moving their chests. When Castiel finally reached Dean’s side, the hunter was lying face down and there was a pool of scarlet surrounding his shoulder. Castiel gingerly turned him over and yanked the blade out, pressing his hand as firmly to the wound as he could. Dean whimpered and looked up at Castiel with pain glazed green eyes.

“Cas, please...” Dean’s voice was barely audible and strained with pain. He swallowed and started over, “Cas, please...Sam...he needs…” He broke off as blood began to well in his mouth. Castiel knew what Dean wanted. He wanted the angel to go to Sam and heal him. He ignored his own pain and worried only about his younger brother. The person he had sworn to always protect at all costs. But Castiel knew, that even if he had retained any energy, there would be no bringing Sam back this time.

“Dean, you need to keep still.” His own voice wasn’t particularly steady as he tried to pull in every small scrap of power from the corners of his being. He needed to heal Dean. This brave, stubborn, loyal and utterly human hunter, was all that Castiel had left in the entirety of Heaven and Earth. His face crumpled in strain as he pressed his hand against Dean’s shoulder. His palm barely began to heat, the small pulse of light fading far too quickly. Castiel felt an unfamiliar prickling behind his eyes as Dean looked up at him, an indescribable softness smoothing across his expression.

“Cas…” Dean reached up and placed a weak hand at the back of the angel’s neck, ever so slightly urging him forward. When their lips met Castiel was frightened at how cold Dean had become. The kiss was light but powerful, and it settled deep in Castiel’s chest. When he pulled away he could taste blood on his lips.

“Dean!” Castiel began to panic. He could barely detect any motion in Dean’s lungs. The green eyes fluttered shut once, twice and finally stayed closed. The angel pressed his hand firmly to Dean’s chest trying to find the beat of his heart. He felt it stutter and struggle until finally going still. “Dean!” Castiel’s first ever tears finally pushed past the corners of his eyes and trailed down his cheek to drop on the still hunter’s lips. “Dean, please…” His voice came out a broken whimper as he tried in vain to gather any strength he could possibly find to try to put life back into the still heart. The place in Castiel’s own chest that had been filled up by Dean’s lips pressed to his turned to solid ice as despair worked its way into the very center of his being.

Gripping Dean’s jacket in clenched fists he dropped his head onto the silent chest. It was as he whimpered into the blood stained shirt that he felt the amulet around Dean’s neck flare with heat.


	2. In the silence, comes the sleep

In the silence, comes the sleep

As the amulet continued to heat the angel briefly worried about the pain it would cause Dean. Then he remembered that Dean wasn’t feeling anything any longer. Another broken whimper passed through the tightening in his throat. Perhaps the only thing that could have roused Castiel from his grief in that moment was the presence of his Father.

“Castiel, my son.” The angel lifted his head slowly and turned to the figure that was now standing over him. His Father stood there among the blood and death and took it all in with sad eyes. Between one blink and the next Metatron, Gadreel and Crowley vanished. With a tilt of his head the crimson stains and gashes on Sam, Charlie and Dean disappeared, leaving them looking as though they had all simply fallen asleep in very odd locations.

“Father?” There were dozens of unspoken questions in that one, whispered  word. Where have you been? Why did you save us each time before? Why are you here now? Why do you not heal them?

“You were always one of my most inquisitive children, Castiel.” God crouched down upon his heels to be on eye level with one of his youngest sons. “You are also one of the most devoted and loyal. Not just to me,” here he glanced around at the humans lying still in the room, “but to all of my creations.”

“Father, please.” Castiel’s voice was weak and breathless. He was finally in the presence of the being that he had searched for with unshakable determination. His endless prayers had finally been answered. Yet the only thing he asked for with his quiet plea, is the life of the solitary human that he was still clinging to with the last of his physical strength. His Father rested a hand on Castiel’s shoulder and he nearly buckled under the gentle weight.

“Perhaps it is time he rested. He has lived a hard life. He has known more loss and shown more strength than the vast majority of his brethren. His paradise awaits him now.” Castiel was staring at his father, pain evident in every line and tear track on his face. God continued, “And that paradise has more than enough room for one of my beloved sons.”

Castiel slowly began to comprehend what his Father was telling him. “But…” He looked down at Dean’s still form, remembering the fire in his eyes and his irrepressible determination to keep fighting. “He would not want that. He would choose to keep fighting.” He hears the small chuckle from his side and looks back up into the face of his Creator.

“Yes, he always was stubborn that way. As are you. The two of you are so very alike.” He smiled fondly at Castiel. “And just like you, he may not always know what is best for him. He has fought more than any man should be asked to. And so have you. Your fight is over. Let the other warriors in this world continue the battle. Be at peace.” While his Father was speaking, Castiel returned his gaze to Dean.

“Do you think that he could truly be happy in Heaven…” he paused and barely whispered the next, “with me?”

“Why don’t you take a look and see what he thinks.” His Father pressed a single fingertip to Castiel’s forehead and he was transported into Dean’s consciousness. Dean’s soul was just beginning the task of processing his death. Castiel became a silent observer to the inner workings of Dean’s mind trying to accept the inevitable.

 

 


	3. Make your way through the dreams that you dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Switch to Dean's POV

Make your way through the dreams that you dream  
Dean startled awake and nearly fell out of the chair he inexplicably found himself in. As he blinked his eyes clear he began trying to piece together the last things he could remember. His heart rate sped up and he looked around frantically for Sam and Cas. He had seen Sam fall, there had been so much blood. And Cas, he had looked so tired and defeated. His brain started to put his surroundings together and just as he realized that he was sitting at the reading table in the bunker, he caught sight of two figures. Unfortunately, they were not the two figures he was looking for.

“Charlie? Kevin?” His voice came out rough and low.

“About time you showed up.” Kevin was reading a ridiculously large book and he had scraps of paper with random scribbling all around him. He didn’t even bother to look up from his studies.

“Yeah,” Charlie chimed in, “we were getting rather bored waiting around.” She had her boot clad feet up on the table and she was chewing on red licorice, flipping through a comic book.

“Charlie, I was just with you. Gadreel…” She looked at him then and her eyes looked as perfect and mischievous as ever. “And Kevin, he…” he trailed off confused. “Gadreel…” He was starting to get a headache trying to fit everything together. It was like waking up from a terrible nightmare.

“Well if you don’t know I’m not going to tell you.” Charlie stuck out her tongue at him and Kevin snorted a laugh as he flicked his eyes in their direction. 

“Ok, well as fun as this was,” Dean got up from his chair, “I really need to find Sam and Cas. I don’t know what those bastards have done to me now but I am going to find out and kick some serious angel and demon ass.” He headed for the garage, which is the last place he can remember being when everything went dark.

“Have fun with that. We’ll see you later.” Kevin called before going back to his scribbling. Dean headed out into the hallway and stumbled as he caught the familiar scent of beer, stale peanuts and too many hunters with too little showers.

“What the…” Dean exclaimed as he tripped over a discarded pool cue. When he regained his balance he looked over at the bar of what was unmistakably Harvelle’s Roadhouse. Ash had his crazy computer out and was tapping away a mile a minute. Ellen and Jo were bickering while Jo cleared tables and Ellen hefted boxes behind the bar. Ash was the first to notice him.

“Oh, you’re back. I can’t even remember how many times that is now.” He looked back at his laptop and continued right on typing. Ellen looked up then and smiled so warmly that the panic starting to build in Dean’s chest ebbed away just a little.

“Hey there, Darling. You are a sight for sore eyes. Would you like a beer?” Ellen wiped her hands on a rag, “You look tired.” She grabbed a beer and glass from behind the counter. 

“Nah. He always looks like that. All beat up and busted.” Jo chuckled and playfully punched him on the shoulder as she walked by with her tray. Dean just stared, mouth slightly agape. He was really starting to get the sense that something was going horribly wrong, but seeing the three of them healthy and whole was so soothing that he let himself be fooled for just a few minutes. 

“A beer would be great.” Dean coughed a little to try to clear the thickness that he was pretending wasn’t in his voice. He headed for the bar and grabbed the beer Ellen offered, taking a deep pull and letting his mind pretend that he was sleeping and this was a pleasant dream. The taste of the beer reminded him of endless nights with Sammy and the bewildered look on Cas’ face as he watched humans drown themselves in alcohol. As he thought of them the panic started to leak in again.

“This was a great dream really. It’s been amazing to see you three.” He got up from his stool and started heading for the door. “But I really need to wake my ass up and find Sammy and Cas. They need me.” As he began pushing through the door he thought he heard Jo say something like “...he’s going to be so pissed when he figures it out.” 

On the other side of the door, where he was expecting to find fresh air, he instead found a vaguely familiar tiny kitchen. As he paused and looked around a tall blonde in a skimpy little pajama set strolled in. Dean looked her up and down for a second before he realized who he was leering at.

“Jess!” He looked around and realized he was in Sammy’s old apartment. The one he had lived in while attending college. She laughed and leaned against the door frame with arms crossed over her chest. 

“Hey, Dean. Long time no see.” Dean just stood there at a loss for words. Jess’ smile softened. “Looking for Sam?” Dean shook his head trying to clear through the confusing fog, then nodded.

“Yeah. You seen him?” he said.

“Not yet, but I know I will soon.” her smile was hopeful, but somehow just a little bit sad. 

“Ok, well I really need to go find him. And Cas. I’m having trouble remembering, but I know they need me.” He headed for the door again and stepped through it into a much larger, but much messier kitchen. 

“Rufus, ya Idjit. Stop cheating!” came a gruff voice from the table across the room. 

“I am not cheating. You are just a sore loser.” Rufus was slamming his cards down and taking a sip from a tumbler full of amber liquid.

“Bobby…” Dean didn’t even try to hide the emotion in his voice this time. He just headed straight for the table.

“Yeah, boy. It’s me. Big deal.” But his smile as he rose from his chair was warm and felt like home. Dean grabbed him tighter than he probably should have, but he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t even care anymore if this was a dream. He felt the pressure start to build behind his eyes as he held onto Bobby like he was the only thing keeping him from flying off the face of the planet.

“Oh get a room.” Rufus groused from the table as he gathered up and shuffled the cards. Dean finally released Bobby and turned slightly to wipe at his eyes.

“Ok. Now I know I am dreaming, but right about now I am not sure I care.” He settled himself at the table and couldn’t seem to keep his eyes from flicking to Bobby. 

“Boy, don’t be stupid.” Bobby said as he picked up his cards. “You ain’t dreamin’ and you know it.” His voice sounded gruff, but his smile was understanding. 

“What are you rambling about, old man?” Dean felt the ice creeping back in. The fear of what was happening to Sam and Cas wherever they were. 

“You heard me. I know, I been there. It’s nice to pretend it’s a dream for awhile. But you need to wake up and smell the whiskey. Can’t stay here forever.” Bobby threw two cards down and grabbed another two from the deck. Dean tensed and started to feel an odd twinge in his shoulder. He rubbed the phantom ache and started to stand. 

“Bobby, it was great to see you. You too, Rufus.” He nodded to the hunters in turn and started to head for the door. “I really do need to find Sam and Cas. I will figure this out. And if Gabriel has anything to do with this…”

“It has nothing to do with me, Dean-O. I’m dead, remember?” Dean stopped just inside the door of the most ridiculous motel room he had ever seen. It was all red and gold and there were cherub statues in the corners. Gabriel was lounging in a chair with his feet up on an ottoman, a huge grin on his face and a giant ice cream sundae in his hands. 

“Of for fuck’s sake!” Dean didn’t even stop to talk this time. He was getting sick of this. He just turned straight around and stepped through the door he had just come through, Gabriel’s obnoxious chuckle following right behind him. 

He was starting to get seriously pissed off. Sammy and Cas were out in the world somewhere and they needed him. He was supposed to protect them. How was he going to do that if he was stuck in this endless loop of dead people? Dean winced at that last thought. His friends, his family, were almost all gone. Sam and Cas were all he had left. The urgency to find them was getting so strong it was almost a physical pain. 

As he took in his surroundings the pain doubled. He was in the living room of his childhood home in Lawrence. And he could smell fresh baked apple pie. Dean couldn’t have stopped himself from moving towards the kitchen even if all of the hounds of Hell were outside the door. 

“Mom…” It was possibly the most broken sound he had ever made in his adult life. She turned his way with a smile that was warmer than the sun. He stumbled the two steps between the doorway and her chair and fell to his knees as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

“Its alright my brave boy.” She ran a hand through his hair and gently rocked him in her embrace. 

“I tried, Mom. I tried to save him. To protect him...and Cas.” He was practically sobbing now but he couldn’t seem to stop.

“I know, Dean. And you did so well.” She dropped a kiss on his head, “You were wonderful. And now you can rest. You can finally be free.” She started to hum softly and something inside Dean’s chest shifted and eased. He felt a firm hand on his shoulder and looked up into the face of John Winchester. 

“We are so proud of you.” He smiled at his eldest son. It was tinged with just a little regret. “I didn’t always make the best decisions with your life. And for that I am sorry. I wish you didn’t have to be here so soon.” He squeezed Dean’s shoulder slightly, “But I am so proud of the man you are.” Dean was starting to understand what was happening. He wanted to fight it. Had lived his entire life fighting it. But, he was starting to understand it, and he was starting to accept it. 

“Sammy,” It was the smallest sound, but his mother heard him and smiled. 

“He’s waiting for you. Go find him.” She squeezed him tight and dropped one last kiss on his cheek. Dean rose to his feet and John patted him on the back and smiled more warmly than he ever had in life. As Dean turned for the door he saw his parent’s twine their fingers together and smile. 

He was in the driver’s seat in his Impala and there was an endless highway before him. He looked over and saw Sammy sitting peacefully in the shotgun seat.

“Hey, bro. Its about time you got here.” Sammy’s grin was bright and teasing. 

“You were here, what, five minutes before me?” Dean punched Sam on the shoulder and turned back to look out the windshield. 

“Nah, I was always a quicker study than you. Been waiting ages for you to get your head outta your ass and come find me.” Sam reached over and patted Dean on the shoulder. 

“Yeah well, there’s something to be said for stubborn determination.” Dean tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “I feel like I should be scared, Sammy. But I’m not. What about you?”

“Not me, man. We did what we needed to do. And I got Jess waiting for me.” Sam smiled serenely. “I am so ready.”

“Yeah. I ran into Jess. She is going to be happy to see you, bro.” Dean was quiet then as he thought about the one person he was still searching for. “I guess Cas is going to be lonely without us to look after.” He worked to keep the tightness out of his throat for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

“Oh, I don’t know. I bet he’ll find something to occupy his time.” Sam’s grin was downright mischievous. Dean ignored the twinge in his chest at the thought of Cas just moving on without them, without him. Fighting the good fight. Maybe catching up with some other rogue angels and searching for his Father. 

“Yeah.” Dean cleared his throat. “It will probably be nice for him to continue the search for his Dad without us holding him back.” Sam groaned.

“You really are that thick, aren’t you?” Sam shook his head at Dean.

“What do you mean? I’m not thick. Bitch.” Dean grumbled and Sam laughed.

“Jerk.” he punched Dean in the arm. “You know damn well Cas isn’t going to go anywhere without you. Where do you think we are going? We’re heading right into his home turf.”

“Uh…” Dean tried to form an articulate thought but couldn’t seem to. Sam laughed again, a bright and open sound.

“Oh, will you wake up already. I want to go see Jess and I know damn well you want to find Cas. Well you are going to have to open your eyes to do that. So figure it out and go find your angel.” Sam was still laughing lightly.

“Sammy, shut up.” He said it with an affectionate tone and looked over at his brother. He sobered for a moment and said, “I feel like I failed because you’re here.”

“Dean, I was tired. You were tired. We earned this.” He looked right at Dean and said earnestly “Just relax and enjoy it. Cas is waiting. And I bet he is getting pretty damn impatient.”

“Hmm” Dean started to let the smile etch itself on his features. “Wouldn’t want him to get bored. Go buzz off and find Jess. I have an angel in a trench coat to find.” Sam’s laugh was like a balm to Dean’s healing nerves. The sound started to fade and the next time Dean looked over at the passenger seat it was empty. 

He turned the radio up and listened to the soft strains filling the car…

_“So go make your way through the dreams that you dream_  
 _Darling you can take all of the time that you need_  
 _You know you're not alone as you swim through the deep_  
 _Like a ship calls through the fog_  
 _You won't hear me 'till you're gone”_

...He drove into the glare of the sun, getting ready for the other side.


	4. When you open your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Returns to Castiel's POV

When you open your eyes

Castiel came out of the vision with a gasp. He looked at his Father with an almost scared expression on his angelic features. His Father chuckled and placed a small kiss in his hair.

“Quickly, Castiel. He will be waiting for you.” God stepped back as Castiel stood.

“Father…” Castiel’s voice was filled with awe. “Thank you.” He looked down at Dean’s peaceful face and then up towards the sky. There was a ruffle of feathers in the air and he was gone. 

The Father smiled serenely and turned on his heel. As he took a step the still forms in the room rippled and vanished. He stepped through the hole in the wall and it was returned to its former state. With a deep breath the light shifted and the space where he stood was empty once more. 

****************

Castiel stood in a bright field where the lush green grass stretched on and on until it met a deep, green forest. He heard the trickle of a small river to his right and looked over to see a black car parked by beautiful flowing water. Dean was laying on the hood, arm shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight. Castiel smiled and walked towards the hunter.

“About time you showed up, Cas.” Dean moved his arm and his face was warm and inviting. “Come keep me company, will ya?”

“Of course, Dean.” He climbed up next to the green eyed hunter and rested back next to him, their shoulders just barely touching. Dean sighed, deep and content.

“This is nice.” He said as he reached his hand out and wrapped the angel’s up in his own. Castiel tensed ever so slightly and then relaxed and twined their fingers together.

“You are not…” Cas started, and found he had some trouble finding the right words “disappointed? You do not feel that I failed you? I could not heal you.” Castiel closes his eyes remembering the pain and desperation he felt as Dean lay bleeding on the floor of the garage. There was a soft caress on his chin, tilting his face ever so slightly. He opened his eyes and stared deep into shining green.

“You didn’t fail me, Cas. You saved me.” Dean leaned down and pressed their lips together gently. It was a simple and chaste thing. When he pulled away there was no taste of blood or pain. Castiel opened his eyes and smiled up at his hunter. Dean’s face was content and relaxed.The next time Castiel was the one who leaned in. They stayed there together for a long time, finally having the opportunity to explore and enjoy with no sense of danger or fear. Dean thinks that he could get used to this Heaven thing. Castiel thinks that Heaven had never been this good before Dean showed up. 

While they leaned into each other the radio in the Impala played, soft music floating out through the open windows to wrap around them...

_“So darling I can't wait for you to wake up_  
 _I wanna be there when you open your eyes_  
 _Darling don't look back no need to worry_  
 _I'll be here waiting on the other side”_


End file.
